sometimes i really wonder is it wrong to request that i need a rest in a r/s... why must he react tt way... to think i stil tot of how he would feel so i tried to make it not so hurting..

he can actualli say if thats the way i want it.. so be it lo..

i dont understand why he can change so much.. how can he say such a fucked up statement.. it just shows how much he heck care abt this r/s.. and if thats the case, i dont see why i keep trying to improve things..

yesterday i tot about everything.. i admit i stil feel the pain bcos i stil love him alot.. but i just dont know how can he change so much... i just feel that he really treated mi so unfairly..

why he used to treat his ex-gf so nicely... and for mi.. he just take things for granted...

sometimes i really wanna say it into his face that i am not his chu qi tong... he like it, he do wat he wan... he dont like it, he just flare up.. and i have been wondering to myself how mani times i for no reason, become the victim of his anger pangs again..

i always try to be understanding towards him.. bcos i know his work is veri stressful.. but i myself is facing stress at work.. whu the hell come listen to mi and comfort mi...

and i just realise... for the past few mths... the number of times he went out drinking wif his frens is much more than the number of times he went out wif mi... it seems to mi that his frens, his drinking, his clubbing everything else is so much more impt than mi..

i know right now.. he is stil very playful.. he stil wans to enjoy as much as he can.. i did not say much.. i just hope he has his own limits.. but it seems like he doesnt have it.. haiz..

since he cant put his heart into this r/s.. i think its only right i dont tie him down.. i want to leave wif beautiful memories in my heart..

i know i will miss him alot alot.. n i know in my heart i stil hope that one day he will go back to his old self and i stil wish that i will go back into his arms again...